Trying to come to peace with my inner butterfly

I went to CodeMash earlier in the year, and I came away with a desire to do some Machine Learning stuff in my spare time.  I needed a Plan, I said.  I’d get up at 5am I said, and have time in the morning!  

So I made this system for myself, using AirTable, something my wife had found:

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To further decrease friction, I broke each project into steps:

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See that 4th column?  I’m calling that my “Affirmations” column.  Its like listing a fear, but then converting it into an affirmation instead. 

I even created a view that filtered things down to just things that were actionable at the moment:

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This worked well for about 3 days, and then … I no longer woke up at 5am.  Instead, I woke up at 5, then at 6, then at 7am, with just enough time to get to work.  And  when the day is done with me.. and we’ve cooked and cleaned and the day is winding down.. its 10pm, and its time to go to bed, if I want to wake up at 5am.

But, I don’t go to bed at 10pm either.  Right now, its 10:30pm.  I should be writing this post in the morning.  But I know, at 5am, my morning-self … just doesn’t care.  F-U he says to my evening self.  And its COLD outside the covers, and the damned dog is sleeping on my sweatshirt.

No happy ending yet.  But I also know I need to get back to running, because the progression of miles is coming up soon.   So… yeah. Smile  Some decisions get to be made.

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